Love & Relationships: Don’t Forfeit Your Future

Jackson GarrellUncategorized

Think about the most hungry you have ever been. Maybe it was during that long stretch between lunch and the bell at school. Maybe it happened on a long road trip. Maybe it was after a long workout. Whatever it was, I’m sure you know what it’s like to be so hungry that your emotions are all out of whack and you lose your sense of judgement.

I used to be a Resident Assistant in college. That basically means that I babysat grown men. From spider-killing to enforcing quiet hours, I was responsible for the stability of the dormitory. As an RA, I had to be on campus when it was mostly empty during short holiday breaks. During one break, I arrived on campus the Saturday after Thanksgiving when the whole hall was basically empty, but I was on duty for the weekend. Ironically, I had just spent the whole week feasting but now I was alone in a eerily-quiet building with absolutely nothing to eat. My stomach rumbled with hunger, but all I had to eat was coffee beans and toothpaste. I went out into the hallway to look for some signs of life and maybe forage for some food.

While wandering around, I stumbled upon a perfectly-placed Chinese food container by the trashcan. It wasn’t in the trashcan, it was just perched next to it. I investigated. To my excitement, there was a single, wrapped egg roll in this bag. It was still warm! I did what anyone else would do in this life-or-death situation. I ate it. I can feel you judging me. This was a low point in my life, okay. I had gone for almost twelve hours without food.

Within minutes of consuming the soggy and sour egg-roll, my stomach began making drastically different noises. The food was curling and convulsing around in there. Let me save you from the disgusting details. I spent spent the whole evening running back and forth from my dorm room to the bathroom — sick out of my mind.

I made a foolish decision. I ignored common sense for a quick fix.

READ: Genesis 25:29-34
Once when Jacob was cooking some stew, Esau came in from the open country, famished. He said to Jacob, “Quick, let me have some of that red stew! I’m famished!” Jacob replied, “First sell me your birthright.” “Look, I am about to die,” Esau said. “What good is the birthright to me?” But Jacob said, “Swear to me first.” So he swore an oath to him, selling his birthright to Jacob. Then Jacob gave Esau some bread and some lentil stew. He ate and drank, and then got up and left. So Esau despised his birthright.

Genesis two tells the perplexing story of Jacob and Esau. The older brother, Esau, was so hungry that he sold his birthright for a bowl of beans. A birthright is an ancient term for an inheritance, but it goes so much deeper than mere money in the bank. It represented a position of leadership within the family and kingdom. It carried the weight of spiritual blessings and the promise of patriarchal leadership for decades. This birthright was worth millions, but ultimately it represented his position with God and his prestige within the nation of Israel.

Esau traded his future for a quick fix. He traded His blessing for a bowl of beans.

Sure, you don’t plan on trading a million-dollar inheritance for some soup, but there is still a powerful lesson within this bizarre tale of twin brothers. Don’t sacrifice your future for a quick fix. Don’t let impulsiveness make you lose sight of what God wants for you.

When it comes to relationships and romance, it’s easy to fall victim to Esau-like thinking. People do this all the time! They so desperately desire to be in a relationship that they settle for something less. They crave commitment, so they compromise on their boundaries. They let their short-sighted appetites get in the way of God’s long-term plan for their life. Alex Gonzaga said, “Don’t trade the ultimate for the immediate. Don’t settle for less, wait for God’s best.” This is a pivotal principle in our love lives.

When you chose to be patient instead of rushing into a relationship, you will be surprised with what happens. Someone will show up when you least expect it. So just run towards Jesus and the right person will end up right beside you. When you reserve sexual romance for your future spouse, you will find so much fulfillment and freedom within that committed relationship. Furthermore, you are protecting yourself from so much potential hurt and heartbreak.

There are so many immediate fixes challenging your ultimate future. Refuse to send those pictures in the middle of the night. You may think it’ll make him love you, but that’s not true. If he really loved you, then he wouldn’t be using you like that. Don’t gawk at the perversion of romance you see online. That stuff will fracture your future and mess up your mind. Don’t trade your future for a quick fix.

This is not to designed to give you a list of demands, rather it’s to offer you a better way to live. Dating is your time to build the foundation of your future. The healthiest and most beneficial thing you could do for your destiny is to decide to glorify God in everything you do together from the very beginning. Love each other selflessly, forgive each other quickly, build one another up, and choose to honor God by following the protective guidelines within scripture. Love comes from God, so it’s most fulfilling when we reflect God in our relationships.

TALK IT OUT
Q1: What’s your favorite food that you love so much, you might consider eating it out of a trash can under extenuating circumstances?
Q2: Why did Esau give up his birthright to his brother? What do you think was going through his mind when he made this decision?
Q3: What have you heard parents or pastors tell teenagers about saving themselves for marriage? Do their reasons make sense?
Q4: What is God trying to protect us from by reserving the gift of sex for marriage?
Q5: What do you ultimately want out of your future marriage? How would current dating trends pull you closer or further from that?
Q6: How can a couple glorify God in their relationship? How would that impact them personally, relationally, and spiritually?